Never Say Never

I've been seeing Huante more and more these days. We've talked more in these past two weeks than we have in the past three months. It somehow worries me in sense; I have never been able to guess what his motives are--as I'm sure he does the same with me. Both of us have become masters at hiding our feelings from each other, even when we're sharing the most private stories to one another.

I was thinking about death the other day which to some of you might freak you out at the thought of a teenager having such a morbid tone in any part of her life, but this is me--take it or leave it. As I was thinking about death, I realized how for many of us, enough just isn't enough. Just when we think we have so much time to do everything and we procrastinate on everything, feeling so sure that the next day we will awake and be able to quickly rush onto the next task at hand, we really don't have much time. 

I think about my own death. Whether or not it'll come soon or whether I'll have the privilege to live a good, long life. And the reason I started thinking about this is because day in and day out I worry that I will never be able to FULLY talk to Huante. I'll never fully to be able to talk to him about everything that I want to tell him. I want to tell him and everything and anything. 

I just don't know why this is so important to me now more than before.