"Parents are douchebags..."
The more drawn I make myself to better understand my dad or--more importantly--my mom, I am always constantly reminded why this choice is obviously wrong. Today was a great example of that. They got into another one of their very peachy fights where everything goes. They don't care who's around. The closest one is always drawn in. My dad refuses to talk while my mom just follows him like she has a string connected to him that won't let her do otherwise. I don't blame him for not talking. My mother has a habit of not being able to handle the truth. She also always has a way of toying things around so it seems as if he is the one doing the wrong. And despite the fact that my dad isn't looking for the fight, despite the fact that he just wants to satisfy her with half of the truth so she won't go crazy, despite the fact that my brothers and I are my dad's only friends (he constantly tells us how we're his best friends) and she has all the friends in the world--my aunt next door, my aunt down the street, her friends at work--despite all that, she still continues to kick him out of the house. Because that's the best way things can get better.
What angers me more is the fact that yesterday her and I had this talk about how she wants very badly for my father and I to have a stable relationship. She kept going on and on about how glad she is that him and I are so close. That him and I can go to downtown together; I don't get bored when he takes me to work with him. She is so happy all this is happening.
No, mom. The truth is you hate it. You hate every second of it. You hate that I call him my friend. Your insecurities get the best of you & you feel compelled to take him away so that maybe...just maybe...he won't be around and Mikie, Isaac, Kikan--and most of all--me, will have no other choice but to come to you. There's only one problem. The more you do that. The more you push my dad away by saying he's poisoning us, the more I lose faith in you.
And I know this is wrong. There's no denying that he does tell us to lie. But I see why he tells us to lie and I agree with that.
But my father has as much blame in it as well. There's fire at both ends, I know that. When he tells us that we'll be okay without her, that we'll work it out, him and I, and then the next day he goes to her, telling her "Let's talk. I want to work it out with you," that is what pisses me off about my dad. What's the point of making my brothers and I go through moments of passionate sadness only for them to turn it around for us yet again?
And though my dad does have some blame, my mother always ends up taking the cake for these predicaments. Either way, they both get me mad.
"Your mom & my dad should go bowling..."
