Sleep On, Dream On

I clearly remember the last time I felt this way. It was the day before my Disneyland trip in the 8th grade. I couldn't sleep all night, just contemplating about all the events that were going to happen the next day: some events actually came true, while others were merely fantasies I wanted to happen but knew would never occur in a thousand years.

I leave to MSUB in less than 8 hours. I have all my things packed; everything I need is set. But I just can't go to sleep. I keep thinking over and over again that maybe I can call or text Linh and say "Oh, I need to REALLY REALLY watch the Mexico game with my family because it's the World Cup and I won't have the opportunity ever again." And she'll reply with: "Of course. Family comes first.." but I know this is merely a fantasy in my head.
I know I'm privileged to be accepted into this program. I know that this will be an experience most people don't ever get a chance to take part in. I know that I am very lucky for this to happen to me.
I just wish I had more time....But who am I kidding? That's just another fantasy I know won't ever come true. There's never enough time. Alex gave me his beanie the other day to "hold on to." I was suppose to return it to him today. I'm taking it to MSUB with me. I hope he doesn't mind.
I'm missing the Mexico game with my family. Man oh man, that makes my head hurt every time I say it aloud. This only happens every Four Years. I'm hurting inside right now just knowing that I won't be in the living room with my family, watching the most important game of this tournament with them. Mexico v. Argentina. Round of 16 game in the 2010 South Africa Fifa World Cup.

But I know I'll enjoy my time at MSUB..at least I hope I do.

Bittersweetness all around. For everyone.

"A Month and A Half...A Month and A Half....A Month and A Half..."
Why Do You Keep Repeating It?
"I don't know...it keeps coming into my mind."

Pshhh..You and me both kidd <3

Halfway Gone

I leave to MSUB in a week...June 27th.
School ends on June 24th.
*sigh
I have 3 days to enjoy before I'm off to school AGAIN.

I'm counting down the days but I don't understand why I'm counting them down. It has never really mattered to me that I was leaving. Doesn't really matter who I'm leaving. They'll still all be here when I come back. But if they aren't, it's okay; people always leave.
There really isn't a point to this blog except to type out all the things that are spinning around my mind at the moment as I sit here on the couch watching TV with my dad.

I'll miss my dad. I know that for sure. One thing I've always admired about myself is my ability to not get too over-attached to people. Because most people that I know are inconsistent. But right now, I'm starting not to like the fact that I can't show compassion or sympathy for those I love.

Yeah...those I love.

State of Mind

"Keep trying to be happy."

That was the most perfect thing anyone could say to me.
try
Not "have a great day!" or something generic like that.
But "try." What a more perfect thing to say.

That is something I'll never forget and will always appreciate.

<3