This kid. This kid right here. Yeah, after so many months of constant emotional struggle and paranoia, I can honestly say that I love him. It feels nice to be able to say that. As I told him today, I love him "with all my slowly growing heart."
As we approach a full year of being together, I feel the same reaction as I have been getting from Celeny, Eileen and the countless other people I've told. HOW THE FUCK WAS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE? How did I--an emotionally challenge, cynical, sarcastic girl--end up with this nice, friendly, awkward guy who acts like a little kid? And to that, I have no answer. It was an act of random events and it isn't until now that I truly know the meaning of the saying: "The best of things come up unexpectedly."
He came out of nowhere. I had no idea who he was. And now, he's someone I don't want to forget. Someone I never want to leave my life.
We're two very unusual people. We're interesting together. But I do enjoy the time we have. He's made me open myself up unlike I've ever done before. I've cried in front of him..which is more than I can say about people I've known for years. The wall I had created, the impression of love that I had created inside my head because of my mother and past flings: these were diminished because of him.
And I could go on and on about all the things I've enjoyed through this year. The walks we've had, the time I spent the whole day with him at Relay For Life, the good old summer days at the beach, the hours we would spend at the park, hanging out with Eileen at her house and the countless movie nights we've had at my house. I could banter on and on about how much comfort and feeling I get when he's laying on my lap and I stroke his hair--that weird tingling in my stomach of knowing how strong my feelings have gotten in the course of 365 days.
I mean, I COULD say all that, but it's not my style to spill my guts ;)
So point blank, here it is:
Two years ago, during my sophomore year I met a boy who had an insane amount of facial hair. I had no idea who he was.
Three months later I kissed him for the first time in the gym and realized I liked him.
In January of 2010, he became my boyfriend.
And practically one year later, I am proud to say I truly love Alex Castillo.
Yeah, Amy Lopez is in love. Who would've thought? <3
"So here I am. I'm trying. So here I am. Are you ready?"
